Our babies have come and gone much too quickly through our lives, yet we will always have a memory of them, a place in our heart for them, and a love for them that is very strong. At times it was frustrating for me because I didn’t know how to express my love for Caleb. He was not there to hug and kiss or experience my love for him in tangible, visible ways. Instead of trying to contain my love or minimalize it, I found other ways to show my love for Caleb and honour his life. The greatest way I accomplished this was to spread my love for Caleb around to Josh, Josiah, and Elijah - to let them in and share that special piece of my heart with them, as well as other family members, friends and other little ones in my life.

There have been many other things we have done to honour Caleb, acknowledge his memory and bless others, as we discover more and more ways God will use Caleb in this world. Some of the things we have done would never have been a thought if not for Caleb.

Here are a few ideas of how to honour your child, if you are searching for ways to express your love for them in tangible ways..

• Sponsor a needy child through World Vision or Compassion Canada.

• Plant a tree or garden and watch it grow as you care for it (this is a great idea for helping children heal from the loss of a sibling).

• Make a donation to an organization or a project that plans to print names on bricks, plaques, etc.

• Build or purchase a memory box. Josh made a memory box with his grandfather and a good friend of ours painted beautiful pictures on it for us. I filled the box with some special items to remember Caleb.

• Discover how your local hospital cares for women who have similar experiences and contribute to their efforts.

• My devotional basket (which contains a Bible, prayer books, and a journal) is one that we received just after Caleb's death - it was originally filled with beautiful flowers.

• In lieu of starting RESPs or saving for your child’s future education, consider setting up savings bonds or a trust fund that can be used by someone who cannot pay for themselves.

• The Gideons accept In Memory Of donations and print Bibles to hand out.

• Donate the baby items you purchased or were given specially for your baby to a pregnancy care centre or a shelter for abused women.

• Our family is looking into buying a star to celebrate 10 years of Caleb in our lives. My sister found out we can buy a star and name it - one that was discovered on Caleb's birthday. We think that will be a wonderful reminder of where Caleb lives.

pp. 141-142. Excerpted from: "Discovering Hope: Sharing the Journey of Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Loss" by Anna Sklar. Posted by permission from the author. Published by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, copyright 2013.