bereaved spouse
"Building A Support Team"
4 minute read
published by Soaring Spirits International
Creating Your Personalized Contact List of Helpers and Volunteers
In the early days after the death of a spouse or partner some widowed people find themselves surrounded by an overwhelming number of friends and family who express a desire to provide assistance, while other widowed people are facing the enormity of managing their future without any offers of help at all. In either case, the marshalling and organizing of support can be overwhelming. This document was created to assist you in determining which types of support you may need in the days ahead and to provide a space to record the contact information of anyone willing to assist with a specific task or provide a particular service. When someone asks if there is anything they can do to help you, check your list to see if they have expertise or willingness to assist in any of the listed areas.
GETTING STARTED
-
Listed categories should be considered suggestions and we’ve left blank fields so that you can add information regarding your own personalized needs. The available support roles can be provided by friends, community members, or service providers.
-
You may feel that you don’t need assistance with a task listed on the template. Feel free to cross off that category or leave it blank.
-
You don’t have to be the one collecting contact information. Feel free to ask a trusted community member to organize the offers of assistance that you receive as well as helping you find trustworthy businesses in your local area to provide needed services.
-
If you find that you are lacking a particular type of support, keep this need in mind as one to be filled at a later date or when the appropriate person or business becomes known.
-
Place this list in a prominent location (side of the refrigerator) to ensure quick access to the help that is available to you.
We hope that having an easy reference for addressing future challenges will provide you with a respite from the stress that often accompanies the need to find someone to help you at a time when asking for help can be daunting.
A SPECIAL CONSIDERATION
You will notice that there is a category for a “3:00 am person” included on the template. A 3 am person is someone who has agreed that you can call them in the middle of the night if something goes wrong at a time when most people are sleeping. We added this category because many widowed people drive themselves to emergency rooms or bundle up three sleeping children and head to urgent care if one child has a middle-of-the-night fever. In most cases there is someone who is willing to assist (a neighbor, friend, family member, coworker), but without having agreed in advance, calling on them doesn’t feel appropriate. Having a person (people) volunteer to be available for middle of the night emergency situations will lower your stress level at these challenging times and make a middle of the night call easier to make should the need arise. You may also want to include the name(s) of someone who would be willing to speak to you by phone in the middle of the night if you feel anxious or just need the sound of a calming or reassuring voice. This person may not live nearby, but would be willing to answer a call at any time of day.
Please count on Soaring Spirits as a community of emotional support willing to walk with you through all the days ahead. We are here to offer understanding, comfort, a caring community, and hope for the future. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us with any questions you may have about our programs or the other resources we provide for widowed men and women. We are in this together.
Yours In Hope,
SOARING SPIRITS INTERNATIONAL
Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, Ca 93065
877-671-4071