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grief support for me  


"[New Year's] Resolutions to Live By when Grieving" 

by permission of Susan Whitmore  

2 minute read

published on the website:
I resolve to:

Not place time limits on my grief—it will take as long as it takes.


Acknowledge my grief as my own—that it is as individual as I am and will take shape in its own unique way.


Not be pressured by “shoulds” because, although people usually mean well, pressuring me to do something I'm not comfortable with is not what is always in my best interest.


Cut myself some slack and honor changes I go through, such as when I behave in ways uncharacteristic of my usual self, remembering that there is a "new me" slowly forming from my loss and I am still finding my way.


Accept that others may not understand my pain, and it is not realistic to expect that of them. Until one has walked the path, how can one truly know the terrain? (And would I even want them to know?)


Extend to myself the same grace and patience I would to others were they in my situation, for I too am often walking on unknown terrain. I will practice more "self-compassion."


Express my feelings without guilt and not apologize for tears. (Stop saying "I'm sorry" when I cry or get sad.)


Be grateful for concerned others who willingly just listen with a loving and nonjudgmental heart, for I know those moments are gifts given to me from them.


Respect that grief has a life of its own and not fight it when it comes.

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