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BABY LOSS | FIVE YEARS LATER

2 minute read
Excerpted from: "Beyond Grief" by Gracelyn Bateman + Melody Lomboy-Lowe

Kimi | 5 Years | Son


“For people that experience baby loss, I just want them to know that it’s not their fault. I want them to know that they’re loved and that they’re not alone.”“We’re intentional with our time with our kids and we have joy. We have joy through the pain and the happy times.”


Can you describe your memento?

“The hospital gave us this bear so that we didn’t have to leave the unit with empty arms after delivering and giving birth to Eli. It was very special and significant. My girls have the Eli bear in their room now and they all know it’s the Eli bear. He’s part of our family, our angel baby in heaven watching over us, and it’s special that the kids know they have a brother in heaven.”


How has your outlook changed?

“I feel like my story can help other people that experienced something similar but might not feel comfortable talking about it.”


What changed after you shared your story?

“We were very open about our loss and pain from the start. Once I started to share my story with people, a lot of friends, coworkers, and acquaintances started coming out of the woodwork. They would also share that they had experienced something similar with an infant loss or pregnancy loss. We didn’t realize how common it is and how many people have gone through the same thing.”


How were you supported?

“The support we felt from the people and community around us was absolutely beautiful. We received so many hugs, cards, emails and gifts. A grief support book was sent to us anonymously as well. The love that we felt got us through.”


What do you want other child loss grievers to know?

“They will be united in heaven one day with their children.”


How are you doing today, 5 years after loss?“Five years after loss we still love Eli and we still talk about him all the time in our prayers.”


How do you support others who are grieving?“I offer prayer and a listening ear because sometimes they need to sit in the silence with you.”


pp. 40-41. Excerpted from "Beyond Grief: Snapshots of Life after Loss" by permission of authors Gracelyn Bateman & Melody Lomboy-Lowe. Published by Luna Peak Foundation. Copyright 2021.

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